All right you primitive screwheads, listen up!

This is a heads-up from your beloved Baron!

On Sunday November 7 at 8:00 pm ET, Turner Classic Movies will be showing the recently refound and restored version of Metropolis, having restored to the film much of what had been lost earlier in the 20th century due to ham-handed executive meddling.

So, if you're a fan of the great grand-daddy of modern science fiction you'll be there on November 7th with popcorn in hand.

Metropolis

Metropolis - The Restoration

Metropolis Refound

Be there, or else.

Hey look, something not entirely unlike a blog post!

I'm not dead yet, just give me a bit to whomp up something that's actually readable and not liberally laced with profanity and random keyboard bashings.

From the files of the Black Baron: Casefile #100529 - "Service... what's that?"

This will be a short post since I'm still having trouble believing it myself.

Just a bit of setup before the payoff...

The lab assistant and myself ventured forth to a local eatery called "McCobb's" that specializes in various sorts of deep-fried comestibles and a uniquely New Jersey invention called a Texas Wiener, of which the lab assistant wanted to get herself a couple of with onion rings and for myself I just wanted some fish & chips.

Upon arriving at the establishment we perused the menu to make sure our original choices were what we wanted before making our way to the counter to place the order where this exchange took place...

Ummm... Yeah...

Just pretend I posted something witty & sarcastic here...

I'll think of something later.

From the files of the Black Baron: Casefile #100313 - Conundrum

On the same trip that led me to those most interesting wrenches I mentioned in a previous missive I also discovered a certain item that, while I didn't care to purchase it, intrigued me as to it's use and purpose...

Recent Acquisitions

This past friday I was able to take delivery of two of three items I've been waiting a couple months to receive.

My lab assistant's offspring and part-time minion (when she's not in college) was able to procure these two lovelies for me, for only $16 for them both.

New Year what...?

Hey, still not dead or anything, just haven't felt much like posting the past few weeks.

My supply of snark seems to have been depleted over the holidays but I'm working on restoring it to it's previous levels.

Have no fear, The Baron still loves you all... in that "I'll sell your organs on the black market if I have to" kind of way.

From the files of the Black Baron: Casefile #091030 - The Klunk Saga.

In the not too distant past I spent a six month period visiting with a friend that lived in a small town in Indiana.

Now while the nature and purpose of this visit is really no one's business but my own there were a handful of episodes well worth sharing with the world at large.

Among these is one I like to refer to as "The Klunk Saga".

The Alleged Van.

The Alleged Van

Ok, looks like my alleged van is dying a slow painful death, between the transmission that was never right to begin with, the fact that it now needs a brake rebuild that'll cost more than was originally paid for the blasted thing, I'm down to the point of having to use the parking brake to stop the damned thing.

I'm on the lookout for something cheap (as in way way under a grand) and in decent enough shape to pass state inspection.

Craigslist is proving to be as useless as usual, so if anyone in the Northern New Jersey area knows of someone trying to offload a cheap van, mini or otherwise, pickup with a cap, or even a station wagon, or pretty much anything that will run, stop, & hold a bit of cargo like a couple bikes, please shoot me an e-mail, especially if they'd be willing to let us pay it off over a couple months. (Yeah, I know that sounds lame but my options are just that limited right now)

I need something cheap and I need it relatively fast.

Boredom rears it's ugly head...

I managed to get myself bored last night so I made up a badly comped piece of fanart for one of my favorite webcomics, Monster Commute.

And here it is...


Try not to make too much fun of it, art is not really my thing.

I'm fully aware of the fact that I couldn't even draw flies if I stopped bathing, so save your scorn for the more deserving.

Carry on, Patriot.

From the files of the Black Baron: Casefile #090908 - The P.C. Police have arrived.

In my travels I've seen many a strange thing, attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, C-beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhauser gate... no, wait, I've done that gag before...

The point still stands, however.

I've seen a myriad of strange, wondrous, and, sometimes, horrifying things during the length of my interminable existence and, while most are noteworthy, some are truly beyond the ken of mortal man.

Case in point, it would now appear that a local constabulary is taking lessons in manners and decorum.

New Banner! (With apologies to Charles Schulz)

As I'm sure you've noticed by now, I've recently been provided with a shiny new banner graphic for this blog whatsit by the amazing Spiderfox.

Clicken to embiggen.

I've been wanting a pic like this pretty much since I started this blog thing and now, thanks to Spiderfox and a small amount of begging, I have it.

Watch the skies... for you never know when The Black Baron shall strike!

Another Tale of the "Hole In The Head Gang"... Sort of.

This tale is only "sort of" a tale of the Hole in the Head Gang in that it just involves yours truly...

Allow me to set the scene for you...

I'm driving along in my mucus green 1973 Ford Galaxy two-door... well it was mostly mucus green, the nose was white since it had been replaced after my aunt killed a VW Rabbit a couple years before I inherited the vehicle in question...

As I was saying, I was tooling along the highway at a nice sedate 65-70mph, minding my own business, while avoiding any law enforcement types.

I love days like this...

Took the Old Man out for a spin today for the first time in way, way too long and realized a few things...

Foremost among them is the fact I'm criminally out of shape and am in incredible pain at the moment, but that's only a temporary thing.

Secondly, most folks are still idiots... now I know this is pretty much considered standard knowledge but every once in a while I like to be reminded of the fact lest I get complacent.

Dear Sir...

Dear Sir:

We have the distinction of being members of a committee to raise $200,000,000 to be used for placing a statue of George W. Bush in the Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C. The committee was in a quandary about selecting the proper location for the statue.

It was thought unwise to place it beside that of George Washington, who never told a lie, or beside that of Richard Nixon, who never told the truth, since George W. Bush could never tell the difference.

From the files of the Black Baron: Casefile #090419 - Highway Hijinks

On a recent excursion for items varied and sundry, it was required that I make use of one of the several interstate highways in the area, a task I'm not entirely fond of on a good day... and it's been rather a long time since I had a good day.

It was during this particular excursion that I saw a sight that, once again, made me wish I had a camera small enough to keep with me at all times...

I came up on a family minivan appropriately loaded with various younglings and other animals some keep about their domiciles, which would explain the fact the driver was carrying a boxed item atop the roof of their vehicle, since it obviously wouldn't fit inside it with all the wildlife taking up room.

Apropos of absolutely nothing...

While in the midst of packing up my meager belongings for our recent move I discovered parts of various old collections.

Back in the day I used to collect things... comic books, certain flavors of collector cards, bits of shiny metal or brightly colored pieces of paper... basically just about anything that caught my eye.

While packing I found several binders of cards that I'd put together over the previous decade and while flipping through one containing a couple sets of Harley-Davidson cards I found this.

Done and done.

Ok, finally... we're out of that shithole with the psychotic owner and into a place, while smaller, has someone running it that actually works on the place and fixes what he says he will... Yes, I was shocked too.

The place is tiny but we're in the same general area, the rent is decent, and we can live with it for a year or so till we can manage something better.

So, now that this part of the drama is over I can get back to dispensing the contempt and abuse you all so richly deserve.

Updates and suchlike.

Ok... as of the end of this week (1/3/09) we should be all moved into a new apartment, barring mishap.

We found a much smaller place a couple miles away, a studio apartment, that we'll be spending a year or two in while getting our lives and finances sorted out and maybe then we can move on to something better.

It's not a bad neighborhood or anything, but the place itself is rather small being only a couple rooms, so we have to pare down what we have while packing and moving, and all this during the holidays... fun.

Personally, I'm looking forward to being done with this crap, nothing I've gone through is as draining as dealing with having to find a new place and moving into it.

The Current Situation.

As it stands, we have to get out of this apartment ASAP.

We almost have enough to cover the deposit on another, cheaper, place to live thanks to a friend I've never met.

We're not out of the woods yet but now there is a bit more hope than there was a couple days ago and I'm trying to keep that feeling going.

If this does go down it's likely to happen fast, if so I'll likely be out of contact for a while except for the occasional library visit, unless someone in the area has a wireless connection I can "borrow".

We still need help but it's not quite as desperate as it was a couple days ago.